Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Becoming a Switch

"I was a switch before I knew what it meant," sounds like a joke, but it's not. It happened to me with two young Mistresses. The most memorable was the first, a graduate student. I was in mid 40s or so, and I never heard of being a switch, but I was about to learn. The age difference with the graduate student must have played a factor, as well as the nature of roleplay and the unique location / configuration of the dungeon's building.

Let's start with the dungeon. This was the late 1990s and I caught up with a Mistress I knew a few years before who now had her own dungeon on W. 3rd Street in the Village, literally next door to the Blue Note jazz club. There was a black door to a "backhouse," a small dwellings built behind a main house with a separate street entrance. Most were built in the 1800s or so. Subs would call the Mistress from the payphone down the block, the Mistress would come to the door, check a peephole to see if it was you, and quickly open the door. You'd enter a 10 foot outdoor covered hallway that led to a small courtyard and a separate three story building. In the hallway no one could see you from the street and no one, unless they were directly looking from the courtyard could see you. It was a perfect, private play spot for the Mistress to get a sub in the mood: slap his face, flash him, etc. Subs followed her to the small and antique three story building. I always got the top floor that seemed to have old furniture that looked like it was bought when the building was built, and a 1930s or so bathroom. The place had mysterious vibe and endless possibilities for play of all types. We would do the "Tarzan/Jungle Queen" kidnapping roleplay. Mistress starts loosely tied up having been kidnapped unseen enemies, but was always in control. Tarzan saves her, takes her to his camp to rest, and the Queen - who knows Tarzan is into kink - seduces him and at the end Tarzan is groveling at her feet.

Over a couple of months we had two great sessions. When I called a month or two later the head Mistress was not going to be available but, let's call her "Jane," a graduate student with experience heard about the scene and would be perfect for it. So I wound up there one Saturday morning and damn she was right.

She was a 20-something ebony goddess from Jamaica (the nation, not part of Queens), had a sexy, slight accent, was intelligent, imaginative with a figure was like a track star, a short Afro hairdo and bright smile. Jane quickly showed that imagination by opening her jacket, flashing her breasts and told me not to touch them unless she gave me permission. We got upstairs and talked a bit about the scene that Tarzan should be forceful in saving her and and said she should be tied to the chair tightly and blindfolded. Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she announced she needed a shower and said something like, "Don't you need one too?" She didn't have to ask twice. Hell of a way to start a session. I dried her off and she left to put on a brown leather bikini in the other room, and told me to come in when ready. I quickly was and she really liked my Tarzan outfit and I tied her up and blindfolded her.

As we started the Princess was in fear when she felt Tarzan take off the ropes, but when the blindfold was removed, she acted like a B 1950s movie Jane, hugging her hero. I put my hand over her mouth and whispered to stop talking. We ran to Tarzan's camp - the other side of the room which featured an ancient wooden table and long bench. Tarzan comforted her, gave her water, and the Princess began to try and seduce her hero. He resists, saying he would tell her father, the King, about all this and I put her over my knee and gave her a spanking. She was turned on and said something like, "Tarzan needs a spanking too," and he did. One thing led to another and the session ended with the Princess getting Tarzan on the table and giving him a massage. We had great chemistry, there was no scripted dialogue, we seamlessly moved from me being dominant to her being dominant. And it didn't hurt that we were turned on by each other. Over the times we sessioned our sense of humor came into it too, and the sessions became more sensual, once starting in that long outdoor hallway during the summer.

A couple of years later I met a Mistress in her early 30s and we did an adult stepfather / adult stepdaughter seduction scene - the stepdaughter doing the seducing. Again it was a switch session. I started out dominant and by the end was her slutty toy. I'm completely a sub now, but experiencing being a switch opened me up and definitely made me a better, and hopefully more entertaining, sub.

You have had experiences to be envied. Do you think some this opportunity was because you had an open mind and were centered on fun? Adventurism begets adventurism. I'm somewhat the same way. I had to be with someone that I respected and liked but, after that, all things were on the table. I played traveling softball in high school. Most of us were gay or bi. It set things up for college. It was an attitude of who was inclined to top and who was to bottom. And, then there was the vanilla sex, which I found boring. But, once I was in deep enough to find out, I was committed and never wanted to make anyone feel bad. With a male, it was different. I can easily see myself married to a man should the right connection come along. But, I'm more guarded. Intimacy with a female was comfortable. With a male, and I've bottomed to a few but it came with earned trust. Hearing myself talking, I was spoiled being surrounded by kinky chicks. We were all experimenting instead of getting into male egoism. So, I never had that ahah moment. It was all about rolling with the moment. It sounds as if it was, although, in a different way with you.

Thanks for the kind words. "Centered on fun?" Maybe... I always thought I had an overactive imagination, which has sometimes gotten me into trouble over the years. LOL! I always liked roleplay, took an acting course in college and, when I got into BDSM I used one of my fantasies and things happened. Lucky accidents, such as having the legendary NYC Mistress Belle de Jour as my first, who introduced me to more than a few other Mistresses, including the late Ava Taurel. Many ladies pushed, suggested me to see different people, try new things and I did... within my own limits. Again, one of them was being a switch with "Jane," a matchup that lasted a couple of years. She became an independent, and our sessions became far more sensual than any strict traditional Mistress would even consider. And at my advanced age I'm still doing sessions and taking a chance or two with my longtime Mistress who is only a few years younger than me.